McDonalds has hash browns for only a quarter!....how many u want?
All of them
it feels like my vag is blowing bubbles
I found a girl on our couch wearing lederhosen this mornig... I dont know if i should be impressed or ashamed
Matt just took me to visit my puke stain from 2 weeks ago at the train station...I'm fucking impressive
you made them have somersault races with you thru the lobby..
Getting wasted on top of a casino. My penis is so much higher than everyone else's right now.
Apparently he crashed because 3 different girls were trying to give him road head at the same time.
Opened my purse to realize I have someone else's birth certificate. What happens to me in college?
These welts and bruises from letting gay boys whip my thighs last night are a clear indication i should lay off the tequila.
So you're mad that you saw a penis at a swinger's party? That's rational
His girlfriends signaled their approval by pulling me off of him and in turn making out with me. I think I will hang out with this group more often
Didn't realize he fucked me in a bed a dog is always in until my face swelled two sizes and I had hives all over my body. This is God's way of punishing me for having amazing sex.
Dad danced on top of the bar with me last night. And has a video of me doing a beer bong.
mother daughter bonding time. she's helping me make jello shots.
I had more orgasms than hours of sleep this weekend. I’m going to keep him around a while
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