Me too!
Text. Mid BJ. 8 points.
alex threw up in my bong. i'm going to call it a night.
i always forget that thursday isnt the weekend in the real world
Would we rather be in rehab with the drug addicts or the girls with low self esteem?
I hope my margaritas pass through security.
Sex should be hot, sweaty, messy, and a little painful. At no point should it involve tiny rocks
We had sex this morning and after she goes, " So are we going to do something for Valentines Day?"
You NEED to fuck him he's a doctor with one leg. Are you kidding me right now. This will definitely make the list. Plus he buys all of us drinks.
All I did was present the dick. You did the work. That's like thanking the pencil for a test you got an A on.
He was wearing a tux and a big sombrero so it automatically made the flute he was playing totally cool
I'm trying to get laid this Halloween, not inspire the next season of AHS
SOMETIMES YOU HAVE TO BLAST VANESSA CARLTON IN YOUR CAR AT MIDNIGHT TO FEEL AGAIN. IDK.
I think I just got suckerpunched by a 14-year-old.
You can call me ugly and you can call me fat,but don't you EVER say my meme game is weak.
Randomize
