Yeah but his hole really smells sometimes
I love online classes. Spent the last part of my lecture taking apart a teabag and filling it with weed.
She just kept tellin me God was coming back and he was leavin her with a bag of stale doritoes and shitty friends.
he kept a regular condom in his wallet just so he could comment on how it wouldnt fit before whipping out the magnums. i give him points for the build up
I know I'm not the first to fuck in a park but i deserve props for doing it at 3pm. On a sunny day might I add.
I think there's an ice cream truck out back, but there's no way I can get pants on in time to catch it
About to throw up, bathroom line up, Bro sees me. Yells, 'PUKER GET OUT OF WAY' THEY ALL PARTED WAY THREW ME INTO A STALL AND CHEERED AS I THREW UP INTO THE TOILET. we are going back
HE STARTED HUMMING THE THEME TO STAR WARS!! WHILE I'M SUCKING HIS DICK!!
I want a battle ostrich, get me a battle ostrich and then come and make love to me
Two of my roommates are waxing their vaginas in the living room. Can I come smoke?
I'm not over that dildo rifle story. I don't think I ever will be.
while giving me head, she stopped, looked up at me smiling and said "ill never be able to look at bananas the same way again" and then went back to work.
Can I get high for this class every tuesday? Its like a multi-sensory carnival acid trip.
Were not even through the second month of the year and I potentially may have torpedoed a marriage...
Just shaved my balls on a moving train. By far the most dangerous stunt I've ever pulled
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