fuck, i think i'm broken. Alchyhol air mattress = the suck.
So explain to me again how you wake up next to a Brazilian model and I wake up next to a turkey sub? And a jar of grey poupon.
who let me buy 6 packs of big league chew? and eat them all? thats not cool
two words...techno handjob
If that really is brett favre's penis, no wonder she ignored his calls
UPDATE: lighting the grill with Bacardi. Haven't slept. Forgot the hamburger buns. Almost out of our eighth handle.
Drunk me cleaned my room for me. Needless to say our relationship has improved greatly
My vagina loves me do-dah do-dah my vagina loves me do-dah do-dah
I picture you throwing your vagina around in the same fashion that they pass out candy at a parade.
My new successful method of booty calling is sending a screencap of a map with the shortest route from their location to mine highlighted.
You kept asking us from the backseat if you were driving ok and then you kept talking to your hiccups and yelling at them to "stop it already!"
You had to dry your pants with the hand dryer in the bathroom because you "forgot to take it out."
the only fun thing to do here is drink beer and make mistakes. i feel like im in college again
My New Year's resolution consists of less weekday hangovers, more sex, and more money.
Tonight’s your last chance for a danger free blowjob.
i'm trying not to stalk him on facebook
i gave in
Randomize
