Don't cheat on me with the blonde bimbo religi freak
I wouldn't touch her with a ten foot pole
She's blonde
I just ran from Santa Claus in Kroger
Hold on im havin a staring contest with my cat
I think the imperative here is that I literally knocked down a sorority house with the force of my dick.
I feel like someone had their period in my eyes.
I'm sorry I got a little outta control last night.
Thanks for the cold. I shartted and sat through a whole soccer game. James made 3 scores.
She asked if I wanted to "Mormon Motorboat" her, which I guess is just motor-boating her through her cloths. Turns out I did.
Also I like this area. Lots of places for me to get tacos.
Do you think I could get someone from tinder to drive me to the airport?
No more house parties. We're almost fucking 30 years old and I slept until 6 pm.
I've decided to become a librarian so I can drunkenly quote The Mummy and have it be legit.
Its 6:30pm and dad just drunk called me asking me what the alarm code at home is..... I'm at home, and dad isn't here.....
Well Jon got a DUI sleeping in the back seat so I thought the trunk was safer. BUT WHO CARES WHY JUSE PLEASE COME LET ME OUT!
When we sit on the couch watching TV, she always cups her hand around my balls. Not sure if it's a sign of affection or a "power play" to remind me just how vulnerable I am if she chooses to make an aggressive squeeze.
you know you should be lucky to find the case to my dildo....that means no more random guys at the house!
Randomize
