Just saw a car with license plate GYPSYS that was full of gypsies
Ever since they found the bud they've been sending me visa gift cards instead of cash. Bastards.
Dude you need to stop whoring out my boobs. They are for emergencies only.
Just had a dream about an abnormally large bottle of tequila. No more depressed drinking for me.
Why doesn't the washer have a puke setting?
I'm the brains and you're the boobs of this operation.
I need to stop drinking alone, I wrote a love letter to my tattoos
I was trying to get everyone to go to the bar but I puked on my hands, so nobody took me seriously.
Don't blame me. I told you I didn't know if I had a key to those hancuffs.
so when he he finally wandered back into the room it was with a pound of cream cheese which he ate in 5 minutes flat and then passed out
I was figuring I'd break up with her after work, but before Taco Tuesday
well he said my boobs made him believe in love at first sight so that's cool
I might run out into oncoming traffic. Id rather break my legs and/or die then continue with today.
And also ice skating can blow me. Goodnight, love you!
the puppy had a little leather gag and was using a ball gag as a fetch toy
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