He just left - my room smells like that cheese they put on nachos and cigarettes and beef
Yo quero taco bell
I'm not conventionally pretty...I'm just crazy
wouldve been great, if we lived in constant slow motion cause that shit lasted 30 seconds and half the time he was putting on the condom
i wish my apartment had room service that i didn't have to pay for.
Wait, we're on the hunt for addys and explosives. They're both in this house somewhere.
I just did something so unspeakable in the panera bathroom that their health score dropped 10 points.
Guess I'll put him on my to-do list too. But closer to the bottom since we dated before. That's almost unethical.
Just got your message from Saturday. Shove all the kittens down your pants? Really?
I was emotionally compromised.
Do u like your dick pics shot in hotdog or hamburger orientation?
I smell like lime and condoms and I really want a waffle. Fuk
Well, I just bought plan b with the tips I made from the job that I slept with my manager. So yeah, that's my life. How's yours?
Although can we find me a starter dick? I don't want security showing up again. That was awkward.
One less thong to worry about.
One less *thing! But probably that too.
DETAILS
long story
just tell me the parts i wanna hear
weed, brooklyn, rough sex.
That’s all I need in life: vibrators, butt plugs, strawberry lube, and sour gummies
Randomize
