I just made princess spaghettios..and I wonder why she broke up with me for not being mature enough.
your youtube search consisted of "food slideshow" and "the angry beavers"
you convinced the bartender to un-cut you off by letting him touch your boobs whenever you ordered a drink.
She should get an extra 30 days for that Georgia Rule movie......terrible.
i was staring at it trying to desperately see a vagina
There are going to be so many Snookis this Halloween that I might just dress as the guy that hit her and punch them all in the face
We've been here 3 hours and the only 1 word answer she didn't give was the drink order. Don't think I'm getting laid tonight
She was indeed spoonfeeding you potato salad out of that giant bowl with a giant spoon. Dont feel special, she was giving it to everyone that left the bar.
she kept yelling about wanting tacos, so I gave her a piece of bologna in a tortilla. she didn't know the difference
i get the sense she is planing new and exciting ways to physically harm me during sex
Ugh he's texting me.
Tell him you're no longer interested in what he has to offer; his shitty personality outweighs his sexual prowess.
Dude. She was wearing nothing but Wonder Woman panties and a flag for a cape and sneaking around leaving PBR's by passed out people for the morning. She called herself the 'Merica Fairy.
Why haven't you proposed already?
I don't know about this Sanders guy after all. I'm voting for MYSTERY BABYLON, WHORE OF ALL THE EARTH
Hillary?
I mean, I've had her boob in my mouth, but is that romance?
THIS IS WHAT CELL PHONES ARE FOR! So you can tell me that you're bringing your coworker who lives in the "Halleleuia community" home for a beer SO I'M NOT DRESSED IN LEATHER LINGERIE WHEN HE WALKS IN THE FUCKING DOOR!!
Randomize
