you would pick up someone in the library
Just because we had intercourse doesn't mean we're friends.
It wasn't a wasted relationship. I got road-head in an Escalade. I still keep that with me.
i dont think duct tape can fix my g spot
lets call myth busters
yeah, that's what i said too. right before i tackled that street sign.
using blue streamers we found on the bathroom floor was probably not the best substitute for toilet paper.
I think he is probably a psycho that will eventually murder me but i mean the sex last time was AWESOME.
Turns out he's old enough to be my dad. I'm so excited. I've never had a sugar daddy before. What should I ask for first!? Want anything?
I crawled out his bedroom window, forgetting he lives in a split level and there is a 10 foot drop back there. I had to text him to come help me I twisted my ankle.
You threw up in your own shoe then wore it home
someone snapchatted me a porn of two guys dressed up as pterodactyls double teaming a girl
Feels like I ran a marathon last night. A tequila marathon.
I think I'm in the negatives for the quantity of fucks given today.
The fact that you got a stranger guy to buy you a pizza off tinder makes me feel amazing
He suck his junk in my HALF BAKED. Ben & Jerry would totally disapprove. This is worse than sticky dick donut day.
Randomize