stuffed animals make me feel really maternal.
He's the biggest piece of shit to ever exist. He's not even wearing shoes.
Is it because I queefed?
Just saw a picture of your new tub, cant wait to pee in it
white trash bash was a total success...cops shut it down twice and her hair stayed in rollers all night..she never broke character
The preggo girl brought her pet chipmunk to class today. fyi.
this is the last time we take the mathletes drinking.
Just got a event reminder on my phone to never party with you again.
Dont worry about the blood on the pillow. its from my face.
I'm having flashbacks from last night. Did I admit to pausing Whitney's funeral because I was watching porn? I believe I did.
My middle name is suave and my vagina shoots rainbows, what else would you expect?
I thought I was invisible, then some guy flashed his high beams at me and I realized my lights weren't on...not invisible.
I think the worst part about being a real adult is 1)having a high stress job that makes me want to get stoned 2)paying for reefer using my own money 3)realizing my boyfriends children probably have more weed connections than I do anymore
I'm pretty sure the Bible says "He who is most sober may cast the first stone."
we woke up when the front wall of the house caught fire.
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