I just want to know how you cleaned her puke off the twister mat with no gloves. And didn't throw up
Woaahhhh there! We are JUST drunk fucking. Don't call me "baby".
I just had to dig under a pile of condoms in my desk drawer to get to a blue book. Summer is officially over.
Yeah it'll definitely be worth it. Not having syphilis all the time you know
Woke up this morning with my period. Saw a commercial for the beginning of Shark Week. I see what you did there, Mother Nature. My pad's off to you.
I have cobwebs on my vagina for halloween. And bats fly out when I open my legs.
Dad stumbling and puking in the White Castle parking lot = Father's Day success
When he opened the car door the whole thing fell off. Even that can be forgiven via his monster cock.
Like I would feel weird too if you just cancelled our wedding, cut off all your hair and started twerking everywhere
be right there i have to get my cape
I need a conscience and I need it yesterday.
If it makes you feel any better they literally are drinking alcohol out of a toilet. They are serving drinks out of a nasty ass toilet...!
Duck, Duck, Goose is now the autocorrect, safe for work version of fuck, fuck, loose.
You seem like the type to go to a craft sale baked out of your mind. I like you.
Finally hooked up with Ryan. Now I know why they call him “Beast Mode”. So. Many. Orgasms.
Randomize
