Come on the kid is gayer than me
Like the straightest thing he could do right now is take it up the butt
You might not want to sit on your couch. Actually you may want to throw it away. My bad.
It wasn't until i was on my knees with three dicks in my face that i thought it might be a bad idea
I'm in Target and the lady in front of me is buying three Summer's Eve douches, a box of fishsticks and a giant bottle of vodka. The sad thing is I get it.
She was giving you that "I really want to blow you but I have to act professional" look. Guaranteed
He just ordered a bottle of Beam at an Italian place for us to share.
you can hold your grudge or you can accept the alcoholic treats as a peace offering. your choice
peace be with you.
No more drinking with Em. She was on the ground so much she looked like she belongs in a lifealert commercial
He came so hard he burst a blood vessel in his eye. Do I have to take him to the ER? because I'm too tired for this shit.
I've been up for almost three hours and it took me until JUST NOW to figure out that what I'm tasting isn't blood, just the minerals in the water. Fuck hangovers, man.
When I said to give it to me hard and fast, I didn't mean like 15 seconds fast.
But seriously I might need help getting spray paint off of my body.... But don't worry about the penis I scrubbed him already
don't let your emotions get tangled in that sexy beard of his.
she broke the sink..i repeat the sink is off the wall. send help
I cut him off because he was changing my thermostat every time he came over
You made the right decision
Randomize