yo I wanna see you, bring that beard of yours
I have the worst farts today, I'm walking by the cubicles of people I don't like and leaving them surprises. Brb.
Medical school killed my enjoyment of porn. Hard to keep a boner when you're diagnosing all the actor's STDs and skin disorders.
Fell asleep in bio again. Sometimes i feel like college is just one really expensive nap.
just saw an anti-abortion rally outside of the courthouse...so naturally i tossed them out a coat hanger i found in my car
Okay, lets just agree to keep all cutlery related activities to a minimum.
THAT WAS PROBABLY MY ONE CHANCE TO SLEEP WITH A MAN NAMED BORIS AND YOU RUINED IT.
What do you think french fries on pizza would taste like?
i already know. Delicious. Use ranch.
As a matter of fact, I am on the treadmill with the Bottle of UV Blue as we speak.....
Alright I'd bang a 4 sober, It's been like 3-4 weeks or how ever long 4th of July was ago. I wanna fuck something.
4th of July was 12 days ago. The date is literally in the text you just sent.
I don't care about the dates I just wanna bone something.
Just had a smooth transition from sexting to buffalo chicken dip 😂😂😂
Your skills amaze me
I’m 95% positive I adopted a bunny last night.
You had cocktails, didn’t you?
If by whore you mean UPGRADE....then yes I am
mother daughter bonding time. she's helping me make jello shots.
Fuck this virus. We’re finally back on campus but the bars suck parties are banned sports are canceled we eat in our rooms and can’t fucking hangout with anyone. I’m tired of virtual classes and involuntary celibacy
OMG IKR! It’s not college unless we’re puking in a toilet wondering if we’re pregnant or just hungover!
Randomize
