Forgive me I'm always horny when I wake up
Waitress cut us off at Chili's bar. New low
he sent me a picture of his dick with a heart border around it
He looks like Ryan Reynolds from this angle
Since when is drunk an angle?
slut bingo starts in ten minutes ...
You were in subway at 3am showing everyone your tan lines
I've never heard of anyone celebrating the holidays with a fuck buddies family before.
....I'll be expecting my trophy when I return.
you had me at cake vodka
I'll probably just close my eyes and point to a random name. That will be my vote.
I just realised how much we're failing the women's suffrage movement right now.
Please send me a thumbs up pic afterwards. No homo. After you've redressed and are heading for the walk of shame out of course
I'm like a freaking volcano of life and sexual frustrations
You've changed since you got that strap on
I need to stop being so honest when I'm drunk. I got proposed to by a stranger again last night. It's not my fault that I would be perfectly ok making sandwiches and giving blow jobs for the rest of my life.
So what happened at girls night? My roomate found me passed out locked out on the front steps of the house and it was raining. Yes low moment
Have u seen my vagina and my gorilla costume? Im in need of it.
Randomize
