i miss vodka and anonymity. college is so rich in both. in college we are a many armed creature, lubricated with beer and sex.
he whipped it out and it smelt like my toilet after taco Tuesday
She just used a chaser for red wine.
I mean we're not committed. He's my first choice, sort of like miller lite. When I'm at the bar I'm going to order one, but if they don't maybe I'll go for a bud or blue moon. I'm certainly not going to stop drinking
I woke up with a flask of whiskey and a mason jar full of sausage in my tux jacket. south georgia is where i belong
I really need to stop drunk texting. My one night stand just agreed to go roller skating.
Why is there a keg in our kitchen? I'm not complaining but why is there a keg in our kitchen?
Nothing wrong with a few meaningless hookups. Keeps the mind occupied and the body satisfied
Knowing that porn stars want to fall in love is the weirdest thing I've found to be beautiful recently. I'm so lonely.
I had sex with him for the first time drunk, dressed in a toddler overall tutu costume, at 2pm. Horrible start.
March Madness means a buffet of emotionally vulnerable dick at the bars almost every night. So yeah my vagina and I are big fans.
My little sister just helped me edit my nudes so that's how my night is going
This is either the best idea i've ever had or the worst. stay tuned.
The brides mom put a 6 year old in charge of me to make sure I don’t get too drunk before the wedding
i just turned on my printer and found 10 pounds of german chocolate inside. i think i found where you hid your candy last night
Randomize
