one day john is going to snap and they are going to make a new show called "john and chainsaw minus 9"
This is a mass text. Does anyone know what the hell the asian woman at the end of Napoleon Dynamite is doing in the movie
i have a $600 bill for my ER visit in which they did nothing but suggest to me that i am an alcoholic.
He picked me up from the airport wearing nothing but a trench coat and a bow on his dick
He's the kind of drunk guy that would pee in your mouth while you give him head.
Sometimes familiar penis is best. Its like comfort food for your vagina.
Ok fuckface listen up and listen good. 1.calling dibs on a chick out of your league is like applying for a job with a highlight video 2. dont fucking ski down the stairs again 3. if you do, put it on your highlight video
When he gets asked "is it in?" more than his name you arent missing out on much more than a petite tampon.
I'm gonna give him birthday punches. On the dick. With my mouth.
I just need to drink whiskey get off and eat some cheese. Why is that so fucking hard for god to deliver.
If you get that boat I will recruit some boat hoes for you and tape a video and sync it to I'm On A Boat. This is happening.
You asked to borrow my glasses for a moment. Then you whipped them at someone's head.
You are the best. Or certainly adequate for tempering my unholy desires.
That's the nicest thing you've ever said to me.
I have a bottle of rum in my pocket...what does that say about me...
You come prepared
She was screaming and crying about how she couldn't find her middle finger. Then, she threw her body on to the pavement. Thats the last time we buy a freshmen a handle.
Randomize
