grinding to god bless the USA? really?
shut up
I acted like I was still sleeping as she gathered her stuff to leave.. that's when she let one rip
Found an earplug stuck to the inside of my thigh this afternoon. Just how much noise were we making?
WHOA. WHOA. WTF. WHOA. TOO HIGH FOR HIM TO BE ENGAGED RIGHT NOW.
just a question.. totally understand if you dont know what im talking about.. but.. do you have my funnel? i think i tucked it in to your bed last night.
She gives pretty bad head, but when it's in her dad's Lexus SUV it's tough to complain.
But theres a keg here and me gusta
You were so calm and collected as you strolled out the door with 40 mcdonalds cups in your arms. It was legendary.
You need Xanax blowdarts
Just set up my first threesome: a rapper and a Marine. Pretty sure at least 80% of girls in America hate me right now.
SEX BINGO!
Canadian or clown?
I just need to drink whiskey get off and eat some cheese. Why is that so fucking hard for god to deliver.
i think my cat just said my name.
You came home screaming the lyrics to Drunk in love, and dumped wine on me when I said you would never be Beyoncé
CRAIGSLIST IS NOT THE ANSWER
IM LONELY AND HORNY
Randomize
