he thinks he's going to hurt your feelings
He can't hurt my feelings
I don't have feelings.
HELP! I am trapped in a douchebag ad... full of Affliction and Ed Hardy. Seriously? is he gonna leave his sunglasses on the entire 10 seconds of this encounter?
Im not sure if he just tripped or was star gazing, but i gave him head anyway.
I HATE DRINKING WITH JUST GIRLS, ITS 1030 THEYRE ALL HAMMERED AND TALKING ABOUT HOW AWESOME THEIR SHOES ARE!!!!!!!
Changed my mind. Wearing a dress. Casual, with a side of breasts.
I love your family. Oh. And on a completely unrelated note, I know where we can steal a dog.
Code red. She won't talk to me. Maybe it has something to do with her raccoon eyes. Perry said there was a brief moment of towel fighting until you passed out. Did you draw the turtle on my ass?
Ok but if you die you have to get "I should've listened to Mike" carved into your tombstone
nothing like a call from your drunk grandpa at midnight on a wednesday to ask your parents if you're registered to vote...
Actually it's really just going to be me drunk in your living room swinging from a pole on a tuesday morning.
I just can't have sex in the car again. it's just too much
Between the deep breathing and nipple piercings , I thought I was in the twilight zone
my roommate had drunk sex above me in our bunk bed and then built me a fort to apologize the next day
Going to the pool bar doesn’t exactly count as “exploring”
My house exploded and with it all my pot went up in smoke.
Randomize
