Hey man your outta milk
How the hell do you keep getting in my apartment?!
West Wing DVD drinking game: drink whenever they waqlk around a lot. I LOVE POLITICS SO MUCH
don't think this is any sort of attachment thing but if I'm going to throw up regularly at your house, I'm going to keep a tooth brush there
you were cooking a hot pocket with a grill lighter what did you want me to do
I found a horn on the street but it's okay I disinfected it with vodka
She had one of those kid princess beds. I asked how she expected to fuck on that and she just said "thats what the slide is for". I've never wanted to marry a one night stand before.
I couldn't finish the episode and had to lay down because the snapple commercial with the mustache was blowing my mind
We left the bar and you kept yelling "ONWARD SCION, TO GLORY!!"
I chose not to drink last night but drinking chose me
Now: to brush my teeth, put on my grandma slippers and earplugs, masturbate to 50 Shades and then PTFO
This is what we get for finishing a whole box of Franzia by ourselves
How many fucks given?
0.12846
If I was banging all the guys that people think I am, I'd quit buying batteries.
Probably going to live on vodka sodas and fireball shots
IM FILLED WITH SANDWICHES AND SELF LOATHING
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