The Redheads category on Pornhub is my number 2 site behind facebook on google chrome. I think I have a problem
Dude I just picked up a married chick while her husband was playing pool.
What do you mean you picked her up? How are you gonna leave the bar?
I didn't. I fucked her in the men's room. Come get me before he finds out.
If it was for sex do you really think i would asking for a mass vote? I'm like fidel castro when it comes to sex. No public approval needed.
Well It's time to grow up anyways, right? Now that you're graduated and have a job you can't drink uncontrollably
No. Now that I'm graduated I can drink uncontrollably at nicer bars
i walked in the apt and she was vacuuming. i asked why and she said so we could have sex on the floor. i love clean freaks.
I just paid a homeless man $20 for the dragon ball Z shirt he was wearing. I need to stop drinking
having my hair in braids makes puking so easy. i am being an indian every halloween
We just for robbed for the second time. I believe the only thing I have left to my name is my $75 dildo
My mom is holding a picture of me, crying, and saying "where did I go wrong" over and over again.
The underwear in the garbage is clean. Just wipe the pizza sauce off
So I commented on one of his pictures "who do I have to give a full effort blow job to, to get the Ides of March movie poster behind you" he responded with a number that wasn't his. I still texted it. I love that movie.
DOMA is dead. I'm definitely going to be the last of our friends to get married now.
The Australian strangers convinced me to leave him behind when they started chanting Aussie Aussie Aussie, Oy Oy Oy, and told me they had a bunch of beer at their place.
What the fuck dude? Now it's a "who is this?" convo going back and forth. Like... helllloooo you just sent me a picture of your penis! I'm entitled to ask who the fuck it is. I can't verify an identity by a body part.
I just walked in on her masturbating to a social anxiety video...
Randomize
