It was amazing what she could do with her one good arm.
it was average length and chubby
so kinda like him?
now i'm wondering if all guys are shaped like their penis...
I smelled my fingers after she left and they smelt like sugar cookies. I want that one again.
You need a twittervention. You're better than this.
I creeped him on fb. I'm about 90% sure I just blew him in the same tux he wore for his wedding..
That's not as bad as watching a dumb ass drunk peeing into your window fan -
I'm going to get old and fat one day... probably pretty soon and I'm not going to have any pictures to show to my cats of what I once looked like.
Thank you for helping a fellow gay friend today. You are sublime and deserve free tickets to the Ellen show
Best case scenario you died and I melt into poo
If I die it's either cuz I undercooked my burger or because I used questionable cheese. I have no pants on, so if there's a wellness check, you go in first.
immediately after sex he started talking to me about nerdy stuff he meant to text me earlier, I'm completely smitten
Even my conscience is telling me to take this Wednesday's exam buzzed.
It's almost 5am and all I can keep thinking is IT'S WHISKEY TIME!!
I don't know how it started but we all ended up shirtless andI was covered in crawfish and wearing a sombrero.
I swam, I rode a bicycle, I rode a horse, I danced. It was like a real life tampon advert.
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