You can call me Bill Clinton. I brought 2 good looking Asians home last night.
took shots out of a medicine cup. i can get used to college.
the line runs infront of fredricks of hollywood. it's like gamestop is showing me how pathetic I am.
STOP acting like a freshman, you have a drivers liscence now AND a PERSCRIPTION for birth control. Dont give all sophmores a bad name. Woman Up
well, I suppose if I had to pick a penis to represent the american public, yours would be it
Talking about the game in the closet with a banana wearing sunglasses.
He thinks that since we have been dating six months, that he can do the helicopter with his penis. Not okay.
He was with one girl when I went to bed, wad with another when I woke up and now he just told me he was with a 3rd in-between last night and this morning. Jesus Christ.
Mom said you looked used
Dave used his AAA card to get my car towed to my house so I could get drunk. Evil genius.
I have whiskey and jager. There's no telling what kind of monster will emerge
I couldn't drown my sorrows in an ocean of jack daniels. They may have scuba gear.
someday i'll meet a man and who loves me as much as i love getting drunk and starting fires
just so you know they found you begging for money at the L station. What the fuck did you drink last night?
I just spent 45 minutes and a really well-put together Power Point trying to convince her to use my dog as baby Jesus in her church's play.
Randomize
