Anyone ask you how much a bj cost yet? That shirt is so whorish
I was informed last night that im not allowed to pick up the bouncers and carry them around anymore. Last sat is starting to make more sense
Part of me really wants this picture, but the other part of me knows if he is really this drunk, he could be sodomizing a lamp and not know it
I just want to emotionally destroy him but also find out how big his dick is so this is perfect
Like will they card me for my own whiskey in shampoo bottles?
Mashed potatoes are always the fuckin answer ok.
I'm standing up, for my all my brothers and sisters, and fighting against whiskey dick.
Apparently I came into our room and told her that there should be a zipline from our window to Walgreens so that I could get chicken noodle soup
Lol he touched my butt after his grad party and a shooting star went by. No kidding. My ass is mystical.
I just wanna get high and take a fucking awesome nap. Those are my goals for the week.
I need to just embrace dildos and cats and call it a life.
FUCK the WHO, FUCK cancer, I'm gonna eat fucking bacon.
And I had on a penis ring on the whole time at dinner. And I ate veal...
Just had to tell a NYC cop I was doing the Dougie in a houndstooth jumper so he could find me in the security video.
You don’t need a wing man if you have a solid hook up on the pumpkin pie
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