I have a pretty basic diameter of my vaginal abyss. I'm sure it won't hurt.
found a strand of your hair in my car. it's 1 ft 7 inches long
wtf you measured my hair?
he asked me out through an event invitation on facebook, the title read Romantic Dinner For 2
Woke up naked in another mans house. If that keeps happening, then I probably need to go gay. You know to make it ok.
If I wanted to fuck someone, I'd go for John. I'm meeting Bryan cuz I wanna get to know him better. And eventually fuck him. But not this Tuesday.
On an unrelated side note: I shall now attempt to crawl to the bathroom. Where I will lay motionless on the cold ceramic bathtub with hot water pouring over my shivering body as I desperately try not to vomit. Good day.
I think if it were a part of everyone's daily routine, the world would be happier. International Finger Yourself While Bathing Day.
I asked if anyone's pants felt wet on the bottom, like a half hour after mine did. I had just peed my pants i had gotten so high no biggie
We got way too high so we're sitting in the parking lot of the movies trying to figure out what bar to go to
Of the 4 nights I've gone downtown this week, I've been "piss in the parking lot" drunk 5 times
I had to switch to male Siri because I could feel female Siri voice judging me for reading my sexts out loud. Also, the dude voice keeps me in the mood.
In honor of the new administration, I'm going to make it my goal this weekend to get some lesbian action. Fuck Donald Trump and fuck Mike Pence. I'm going to be a spiteful gay.
My mom just looked at me and said; "You've been pretty bitchy lately do you need some dick?" WTF has happened to me?
I told him I lived in the apartment beside his brother and he said "oh, you're the girl that watches really loud porn!"
I just found your "it's drinking time" note in my chem notes. Why did this never happen??
I was waiting for you to find it...I'll be over in 5
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