Pretty sure somebody just said 'I used to have a nipple'
that's awkward
I just drank til 6am then boned a 32 yr old that looks exactly like ET. Oh god.
i DID try to find you last night. i asked where you were and you texted me the letter "e" and a picture of the dark.
I'm not proud of how I threatened that 8 year old during drunken laser tag
I think we should get high on adderall and nair each other again for New years.
For once I want to have sex without having to google the after effects of it.
sorry to break it to you, but he's definitely fucking that other girl now...
I wish I still at least had the bruises on my ass to remember him by.
Had sex with one of the guys from Ireland. Celebrating st pattys early.
CSI Miami is on and the guy is trying to save this woman who got shot. By stripping off his shirt & belt. THE WOMAN NEEDS YOUR PANTS OFF TOO
dude girls our age are getting married and having babies and I still can't figure out how to defrost my hotpockets
I really shouldn't have to tell you to stop banging your lightsaber on everything while we are in college.
My apartment is also really close to an alcohol rehab in case I get out of hand
Anyone who has court these next few days keep your head up & smile knowing we broke the County Record with 27 underage consumptions
You are in a fancy European city. The best way to truly experience the city is through Tinder
Just found a rebirth in peppermint schnapps. May be able to stay up all night and finish this paper after all. MERRY CHRISTMAS
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