You know that restaurant that is like over by home depot?
That shitty one? I heard the food sucks there
It's my parent's restaurant
So I think I might still secretly love him despite the ass licking...
Hey ass licking is a very nice and intimate thing! Don't discredit your feelings
But what if he licks everyones ass?
Pls tell me she didnt actually sign a nutsack.
you definitely have a few illegitimate kids
probs. Not too worried about it though. MOst girls are too embarrassed that they let me into their pants that they'll never admit its mine
he pointed at my clit and asked with a confused face, 'whats this thingy??"
You made a list of reasons why you should be on fear factor. You came up with 2 reasons: "I like fear" and "I am fear"
Your maid of honor is passed out in a golf cart on the 18th hole.
Don't make this awkward for me. Don't let your mom come near the bathroom. I can't meet your mom for the first time while I'm shitting. Dont make this awkward.
Oh they knew you from a bachelorette party! You were the pole?
Ohhh shit yeah that was me. Fuck. I hate myself when I do that.
And apparently midway I said "hurry up and finish so we can talk about what a bad idea this was"
My wife climbed on top of me, fucked my brains out, and gave me money from the ATM. I'm living the dream.
The moment I said this burrito on my nuts feels really good is the moment I knew I was drunk
so third time im replacing the batteries on my vibrator in 2 months #sosingle....on another note though, black beauty is raring to go
In case you were wondering I realized something last night, Rick James was correct. Cocaine is a hell of a drug.
Woke up in a house I don't know, with someone else's pants on, and wolverine hair, to my girlfriend yelling on the phone about the 4 girls I made out with last
Randomize
