Got a plan. Ill do rock paper scissors and if you win we smoke a joint. Throw rock.
The line was so long at Kum n Go some guy opened & drank 2 beers from his 12 pack while waiting.
Just facebooked the guy whose name you're yelling in there. So you're aware, his interests include "swearing at babies" and "Ice luge"
she's a dental assistant. she can get nitrous. kinda looks like a sloppy bucket of fuck. time to take one for the team. NEED SHOTS STAT!!
Cut a hole in the crotch of my onesie so we could have sex without me getting cold. Best decision of my life.
It's probably because the lack of alcohol in your stomach. Alcohol kills bacteria. I am a doctor. Trust me
I'm not entirely sure what happened last night, but I think I dislocated my kneecap during an epic Mario Kart battle...
Just saw an all male dolphin threesome from underwater viewing
So I was trying to finish off that sick uv whipped and I chased it with yogurt. Not a good idea
K, im gonna wait to get my dick pierced so we can do it as a family function.
Drunk yet?
Well I just did the worm on an empty dance floor while the bridesmaids were serving cake. You tell me.
Lol if he questions who I am I'm gonna send him a pic of his boxers
My vagina: 1 Male stubborness: 0
She gave me a roadie as we drove home from fireworks. People were still lighting off their displays as we drove by. I love America.
I wanna get a tattoo next to my tattoo that says, my ex did this so don't fucking ask
Randomize
