I wish there was an iPhone app to help you with your shitty personality.
im so horny i just used my electric toothbrush to masturbate. god help me
oh my she just said cum sticks to her dentures so when she blows if they let her she takes them out
From inside my college history class i see him waving his arms while holding a beer bong trying to get my attention
then she stuck her tongue in my ass
I thought we were talking about reason you aren't going to marry her?
you started introducing us as kentucky and gentlemen
No. And Marissa said shitting in the handicap bathroom at work does not get you into the club. You have to shit yourself. She said.
Check out this gay circle: I've now hooked up with my ex-boyfriend, my ex's ex-boyfriend, my ex's ex-boyfriend's ex-boyfriend, and most recently my ex's ex-boyfriend's ex-boyfriend's ex-fling.
i looked at my phone and realized all i had said to her the entire night was misspelled variations of "NOTHING IS THE SAME" over and over. she eventually stopped replying.
I'm silent, like a masturbating ninja.
If we ever start off with margaritas for breakfast and end up naked covered in olive oil...I could think of worse ways to spend a day.
Let's learn from last year: Leave the handcuffs at home on St Patrick's Day.
The least you could do is send me some gibberish so I know you're alive.
Fuhga
Thank you.
My old dealer would be proud of the drug cocktail I just took for my back pain.
The only reason you haven't shit yourself yet is because you don't like having fun.
Randomize
