I almost didn't recognize her with a shirt on.
sorry about last night, I don't know what happened but I woke up this morning and looked strikingly similar to courtney love, it had to be bad.
his blackberry tasks were 1. take names and 2. kick ass
He's like the houdini of condoms. I never even realized he put one on before we fucked. he's magical.
Last night I dipped into my beer fund to pay for groceries. SINCE WHEN ARE MY PRIORITIES SO WHACK???
he keeps trying to sext me and all I can do is respond with descriptions of what im eating.
The carpet cleaning people refuse to steam clean human feces. I'll call back later and blame it on the dog not you
I took shrooms last night.. For a good half hour I genuinely believed I was black and being held captive by a leaf. Never again.
Ran into my neighbor that's always crying. I wonder if she's like; "I ran into my neighbor who's always playing with her vibrator?"
When we were texting for those few weeks, I some how established a crush on you. And its weird and wild and stupid and silly. But these things just have to be said sometimes to determine what's real and what is infatuation. And to suffer the consequences of five am drunk philosophy. No regrets.
Also, lets remember that we have known each other for nearly a decade and our two most recent photos to one another are boxes of plan b
She really has to stop the coke at some point. Won't she run out of money eventually?
Won't she run out of nose eventually?
Thanks for coming over. I'm sorry everyone else was vomiting. Thank you for not vomiting. I love you.
On a side note, my ex husband offered to buy me shrooms
Omg no hes gotta go down on me. Then itll be like my vagina has kissed the stanley cup.
Randomize
