for real. he might as well bring dogs if they're lower than a 7.
she has double-d's AND she knows what level Pidgeot evolves. don't tell me she's not a keeper
Just woke up with three stitches in my left boob. Nevertheless, I think I'm going to like this school.
I think he's on the stoner protein diet. I just saw him, at 3 am, spreading mayo on a slice of deli ham and sprinkling salt on top.
I want a coyote to ride back and forth to the bathroom because walking is getting old
The dumpster is full of naked people swimming. I'm going to join.
you are not my drinking buddy, you are my drinking enemy.
he fell asleep like an hour after we got to the beach, he deserved that penis shaped sunburn.
Halfway through lecture, some kid in the front row threw up IN his hands. Professor held the door for him to carry it out.
I was like can I please fuck your hips back into realignment
I need a good cry or an orgasm and neither of them are gonna happen to me and i'm so frustrated
Sending a pic of labia to send to the TN Legislator. Obviously they don't think I know what to do with it so I'm gonna ask them for advice.
I'm sorry I was just sleeping on the kitchen floor I'm too dead to think
Here's a tip: do NOT chant "MATTHEWS. MATTHEWS. MATTHEWS." during sex because the Packers won against the Giants.
So this ukranian guy got angry and took his clothes off. Now he has my credit card and I can't find my keys.
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