he is naked. in. my. bed. happiest day. of my. LIFE.
I have no idea where we are. But it doesn't look dirty so I don't think we are in jersey yet
Who would have guessed that on my moms birthday she'd have sex with the door open. :(
walmarts paint section shouldnt be open at 3am
...She just said, "We've been blessed with good drugs lately."
Yeah getting kicked out of the bar at 1 pm really set the tone for the day.
mom in a round about way told me to either donate my eggs or become a surrogate bcuz I need money.
I think your going to be the cause of an awesome death
You could give me a blowjob later? :)
I meant do something romantic..
Blowjob In the moonlight?
well.. I tried flushing my sandals down the toilet
He's blaming gravity for his problems right now, so put that in perspective
And theres a reasonable expectation that if you're fighting over a pair of yoga pants on the ground at VS someones gonna videotape it
he made a bon jovi sex playlist and started crying when "i'll be there" came on... how was your night?
WHY AM I CRAWLING IN OLDER MEN HOLY JESUS
She said she didn't care that I was gay and wants to ride the fucking rainbow
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