then for some reason i googled "how much to buy a cannon"
Ate apple sauce off his penis. Nutritious and slutty.
You don't understand, we were on a waffle house. Both of us were absolutely certain we passed out at his place then BAM! Waffle house.
want me to make you a grilled cheese? I can't guarantee it'll be as good as yours but i'll go down on you afterwards if you want
brb printing out this text and putting it on my bedroom wall
He either works for the Irish Mob or I'm being Catfished
My apartment is also really close to an alcohol rehab in case I get out of hand
Jenn from HR called him the new office boy toy. I think I need to bathe in bleach.
WHO TURNS DOWNA FRESHLY WAXED VAGINA IN A MAIDS COSTUME LITERALLY LAYING IN YOUR BED
Know we haven't talked but having an orgy party on the 20th if you're interested. If not, disregard this text.
Who is this?
So I totally had sex In a teepee last night at that wedding reception.
2017 is gonna be explosive... Already watching fireworks out the window while shit my brains out. Happy Ew Year
and i thought it was paint or jizz but it was cheese
please tell me you didnt taste test that
Even my conscience is telling me to take this Wednesday's exam buzzed.
I’m so poor I’m filling a flask with vodka and bringing it to the bar.
& I came downstairs to find my whole family discussing the fact that I have a vibrator, which my mom found accidentally....
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