At one point last night while tipping the bartender you looked at him and said "If I need money later, I'm taking this back"
I know. I need to get a vagina tranquilizer.
She clicked her fingers, said "here boy!", and pointed at her vagina.
I don't remember because I was drunk out of my mind, but I have it on good authority that weed cinnamon buns at 3 in the morning with chocolate milk are better than sex.
...I can smell the alcohol on your breath through that text
Maybe you need to change your pickup move. The "hey check these out" titty flash gets you the wrong kinda man.
Happy 420. I woke up to a girl smoking weed and dragging me out of bed. Chemistry makes so much sense high.
Option 1: fuck me and bedtime. Option 2: come fuck me and then hangout with everyone. Option 3: don't fuck me in which case fuck you.
It is not if she takes a guy home Karaoke night. It is how many.
That was when I yelled "Wisconsin powers activate!" and took off sprinting across the ice
Glass of stolen champagne in a to go cup = tastiest hangover cure ever
You used a fucking bud light like as lube last night. I'd get a UTI test like stat.
Um..... I have taste. The only thing I am going to bedazzle is my vagina.
We decided it was a good idea to go streaking through the campus. Everything was fine until the sprinklers turned on and we realized the keys were in his pocket.
You let the ASEXUAL teach sex Ed?!
Randomize
