we sat in the hammock and pretended we were skydiving for three hours. jack actually started crying when i convinced him his chute didnt open.
And then you told your sister how horrible of a friend I was because I couldn't get you cheese fries...
I just creeped all your pictures on Facebook -- it was like I watched you grow up right before my eyes.
im dirt poor will suck dick for halloween costume
I told her I was horny and she said to forget it because she has vagina drama.
WHAT IN THE HELL IS VAGINA DRAMA?!
It seems like every guy I've hooked up with all end up hanging out together, its like a cult.
nah i think i'm gonna take my landlord's kids trick-or-treating instead. apparently the houses around here hand out wine to the adults and candy to the kids.
In other news it turns out I like Heineken.. In a desert island kind of way
You know, I think when I have a lot of free time, thats when I pick up odd lovers. Maybe keeping busy is key to not using my vagina
I can only get day drunk because of my medicine now, so... There's that
No worries, I've prioritized my homework into "can do drunk" and "should be sober" categories. We're good.
I'm high. The text bubbles floating do no justice to the underwater experiences
He said I could stop sending ass pics now and just say hello. I'm not sure if that means he's no longer interested, or that he's a gentleman??
Nah, i wasn't offended. Having a bridesmaid who you had had multiple threesomes with your future husband would be weird.
My mom has tinder, she is 45 and has her age setting at 18-29. And she still gets more matches than me
Randomize
