i may or may not be hanging out with a boxer who has a daughter tonight. and he just spelled "honestly" like "onistly". He has prob taken a few too many hits to the head but he's hot at least.
definition of desperate: He gave me his SC drivers license so i wouldn't forget to facebook him.
Highlight of my evening, pile of books falling onto me in front of people
my dad brought home flowers.. so i started talking to them
I couldn't even finish, she was lounder and more annoying than DJ Khaled
So...it's hour 4 of day 5 of week 7 of my internship, and so far all ive done is shred paper. all. day. long. it's like working for Enron.
She makes me want to eat babies and throw kittens in pots of boiling water.
I felt so bad for you. Drunk Rachael wanted nothing more than to crawl into the cop car and give you a hug. Luckily Mollied/Barred out Rachael convinced Drunk Rachael this was a terrible idea. So I ran. I have your keys btw
I woke up in an ill fitting childs tutu this morning and the shower curtain is knocked down. Wtf happened?
He plays guitar, sings like an angel, and acts like a gentleman. If I don't fuck him by the end of first semester, I'm dropping out
Anne is dead. totally passed out and was flat out in the street
Am i obligated to tell my sister her girlfriend was my one night stand three months ago?
Fuck the system, do you have any medieval weapons?
I was asked to be part of a mmf threesome. I think I'd rather stay home, watching Orange is the New Black and cuddle with my cat though
Any who, I expect to be showered with roses apon my arrival
How about beer and nachos?
A fine substitute!
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