I feel like tequila is Gods way of lighting my fuse to do something awesome
Fuck morning classes. Fuck early work. Fuck anything in the morning that doesn't involve sleeping, sex or bacon.
Umm I need a rain check. Long story short is I have scabies. Research it if you want. I'll tell you everything another time soon, I promise.
not sure how we got back down, broken rib says we didn't use stairs
you referred to yourself as the crossing guard because of your neon shirt and began directing bar traffic
I've started a list of places i want to drink. To go along with the list of places i want to have sex. Lincoln's log cabin is on both.
I am pretty sure they consider me one of the "bros". They compliment girl's racks to me and are the human forms of dick-be-gone. They won't sleep with me more than once cause it's "weird", or let any "untrustworthy boys" sleep with me and I still help them get laid. Not...fair...
Things are very odd on my 29th hour of being awake. Thought there was a bird in my lecture hall and it was just a girl putting up her hair. What even
Abort mission; I repeat: Abort mission.I found an attractive one.
I woke up sandwiched between them, all of us naked, and they were just sharing a cigarette, a donut, and the paper like it was just some normal post-threesome Sunday brunch.
My hands are stained pink. I look like I fisted a muppet.
I don't know what you're doing this morning, but obtaining Plan B is my number-one priority.
I did wake up to a random meat and cheese plate next to my bed, that was a thrill.
i'm sitting in bed scratching my boobs and wearing a sparkly fedora and have no one to blame but myself
my roommate had drunk sex above me in our bunk bed and then built me a fort to apologize the next day
Randomize
