Dude you just kept yelling "She was my first asain!" right in front of her.
I just found a pubic hair on my dick that wasn't mine.
should my penis look like a turkey
Just checked an empty cooler on the flight to Notre Dame. You don't have to tell me you're jealous, I already know.
She lost her glasses and we found them on the roof. Don't ask questions. Kings cup was intense last night.
Baked and hanging out with Al from Home Improvement's son. You can't make this shit up. Tuh-rippin balls
if memory serves, the guy you were hooking up with said he was a slutty skittle.
I'm thinking about slathering myself with peanut butter and going to the dog park. What's the worst that could happen?
WTF DUDE?
Stay calm. I'm sure there's a heterosexual explanation for this
Visibly drunk girl eating alone at a souplantation just spilled salad all over her body. It was me
I just had sex in the footy bunny pajamas my mom bought me for christmas. Tis the season
I snuck out of his room and his roommate stopped me to tell me there was a condom stuck to my back
All I want is some guy to eat me out while I work on grad school things then go on his way
Trump won PA by a fucking landslide. If only Cruz hadn't eaten that booger.
Her dad had just brought down their giant American flag for 4th of July and we fucked on it. I have never been more patriotic
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