there is a strobe light in my taxi. in what way is this safe.
Maid of honor is brides sister and single. Likes lemondrops. You're welcome.
Yessssssssss. I got taped to a couch last night apparently. I also thought i was close to scoring after talking to some chick about hard boiled eggs
I was sitting on the floor of CVS chugging white grape juice until someone asked me to leave.
I think its safe to assume that the 40yr old undergraduate with purple and pink in her hair and a tattoo of the eiffel tower above her ass crack has never actually been to Paris...
Some kids in a school bus just saw me jacking off in my car. This is how 89% of children find out about sex.
No, that's just what we do when we hang out. We get drunk, have really awesome sex, then fight about why we never worked as a couple
BING! You are now free to move about my panties. He just left for work.
Attempting to sleep without a bra since i got my nips pierced wish me luck. Also almost sent that to my coworker.
They have a genuine stripper pole secured to the floor of their living room. I am thoroughly take advantage of it. I've made $5 so far. Why don't more places have poles??!
I'm still pretty drunk right now, but when this hangover hits me, I'm going to be super pissed. It's a preemptive never drinking again.
He's holding a pee stick. Yes it's weird.
can we just punch him in the dick and call it a victory for feminism
Meanwhile I'm googling glory holes in Vegas
I don't want my liquor store dad to judge me...
Randomize