I can't tonight. I'm still nursing a beach sex injury. Don't wanna talk about it.
There is still throw up in my sink from before break. God I missed this place
Just bought lingerie with the intention of wearing it as a shirt. It's going to be that kind of weekend.
Just found a picture of a hobo making out with her tits...a HOBO
remind me to get a blood sugar test this week. I'm pretty sure I'm a mojito away from diabetes.
Is there a law against that?
Nope not at all. Just morals. But fuck it, this is college, not real life.
Nope, sorry. Already took my bra off. All down hill from here. My next act will be crying, singing, and eating girl scout cookies in the shower. You can come watch the shit show though.
She called my landing strip a "vagina mohawk"....
Lesbians are weird.
As long as I don't spend the half the week passed out/fucked up on Klonopin and no one dies, this will be the best week I've had all semester.
GUESS WHO GOT ABSOLUTELY WASTED LAST NIGHT AND SPENT AN HOUR RAMBLING ABOUT KRAFT DINNER, HOCKEY, AND THE LAST TEMPTATION OF CHRIST
Pssh I just bang a girl in a single person tent. Thats like the back seat of a sedan.
ever had the feeling "I've been drunk in this bathroom before?" Like De ja drunk?
They way I see it is I've wasted 7 years of having these glorious tits. I only have about 3 good years left before idk kids or just gravity takes over and they don't look this nice so it's basically open season.
I just lived through a real life episode of jersey shore.
I was dressed as Waldo and the cops kept saying looks like we fuckin found you
Randomize
