Note to self. Condoms are not microwavable.
i saw like six of her guido cousins in the jersey shore trailer alone. her family is having a dinner party for the premiere tonight.
the crazy preacher outside Willard just began a monologue that began with "when i look at a vagina." We should stop by there more often
is it STILL halloween? when did this turn into a week long holiday
we're going to drop off one of our cars at the police station tonight so we'll be able to drive home in the morning
Bring enough bail money and little extra for tacos after
I don't know what I would do if cheese never existed
Someone's stooooned
I can't bring an entire liter in the bar in my purse. I mean I can. I might. I'm probably gonna.
She bent over while grinding on me on the dance floor and her thong straps were hanging out, I thought it was a good idea to grab the straps with both hands and pretend to be riding in Santa's sleigh...not my brightest moment.
I just fist bumped God in my head for last night. What a bro.
Doing a small happy dance cause my cocaine successfully went through airport security
i feel like ive seen the light, but not in the nasty christian way. thats gross. say no to jesus, kids
Wtf. So apparently this 5 star establishment doesn't allow strip putt putt in the parking lot. We all just got kicked out of our rooms.
Is it bad if I look at someone i dont know and just want to punch them in the face?
so does the amount of bruises on my arms and legs mean we had fun last night?
Randomize
