I love seeing the creepers that friend request me outside of facebook. its like seeing a unicorn in the middle of campus.
you passed out when you kept trying to hold your breath during the underwater scenes of 2012
hapi new year, hope this year brings u happiness and lots of sexi people ;)
stop writing like that.
he prob just wants to be friends and here i am photoshopping our kids
I offered to go to AA with him...not because I am admitting I have a problem but because I want to see what they are saying about people like us.
In a min. With a stripper at the hospital. Business. Not pleasure.
I can't. I will literally throw up my liver
Why dont you be an ebola patient for halloween? You can totally throw up and itll be part of your costume.
FONT CPME TO THE TRUK. I REPATE SONT COME TO THE TRUCK WERE GETTON FRAEKY
I feel my soul being ripped out of my eye sockets
Do not tell guys at bars about kittens you rescue. They will walk away.
We just took an Eskimo family picture.. It's pretty cute honestly
It's election day and I was just tied up with an American flag scarf
You're like a human soul vacuum cleaner.
Don't make me do math I'm drunk and full of chicken
I was trying to be good but he showed up with dinner and wine and I exploded. Like a bomb. A dirty, sexy bomb
Randomize
