Where you are. You must stay where you are are
Where you are. You must stay where you are arewhere are youu
Where you are. You must stay where you 5eare wher are you!!
DUDE. I'm missing my big toenail. My bed has blood all over it. WHAT DID WE DO LAST NIGHT?
I don't know, but I chipped my tooth and I'm wearing different underwear.
Never write on a napkin "my face, your boobs" with your phone number and give it to a girl. Just a tip of the day from my nightly experiences lol.
We need to hang out more often
Her vagina was like a man-sized safe.
there needs to be a build-a-bong store...
The musician playing at the bar just puked inside his acoustic guitar, then sang an encore performance. I love Louisa!!!!
I dont think that drinking by ourselves on a saturday night counts as being "fun alcoholics"
Hahahaha you would not believe what I just pulled out of my vagina. Actually you probably wouldn't be surprised.
Tonight will bring shame to my future grandchildren.
Operation liquormelon is in full effect. We may die tonight.
say 'i' if you broke up a fight involving your father at TD bank today....
He just sent me a picture of himself naked while cooking pancakes and he made the caption "bitchin' in the kitchen"
Its like he woke the dragon, and the dragon is hungry for a good dick.
I'm remembering the time we thought it was a brilliant idea to put koolaid powder in shots of goldschlager
You threw a beachball full of vodka at me and yelled I CHOOSE YOU then ran
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