P.S. theres no milk for breakfast, but theres plenty of beer or red wine. you decide.
yea and when she crawled to her room she yelled at a bookbag to "get the fuck out my way"
yeah, and then after the convo was clearly over, my dad decides to scream "SIZE MATTERS" just to make things even more uncomfortable.
I just can't bring boyfriends home.
My eyes got the double whammy. Once with pepperspray from the riot the other with cum. Both of which i did nothing to deserve.
She said I wasn't helping her abandonment issues by not responding to her texts at 4 am
I just drank til 6am then boned a 32 yr old that looks exactly like ET. Oh god.
He looked down at his phone and screamed "I'M NOT A DAD!" and then bought the entire bar a round
90 persent of me said don't pee on that fake plant. Buyt i did
YOU DID DRUGS AFTER A THREESOME WHO ARE YOU TO JUDGE ME?!!?
You made out with my dog and told me he tasted like a rainbow.
You pretty much isn't said it
Those words don't go together.
let’s be honest I’d fucking Irish step dance on your grave, asshole
I frew up on some kids lovely sidealk chald drawings..
Dignity. Ruined. Must. Smoke. Weed.
Leave it to my mom and I to turn the hearing into a drinking game.
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