Where you at
assisting at a photo shoot in williamsburg till 7ish. wassup?
Doesn't matter. I already jerked off in your bed.
I'm playing a drinking game with nyc prep. This will not end well for meeee
Everytime the gay dude pretends he's not gay, drink a cosmo. Everytime the crosseyed girl is crosseyed, kill her
Trying to find something to do here is like trying to find a vegan resturant in alabama.
I just got a drinking merit badge from a slutty girl scout
I'll name the documentary, "The Adventures of Megan's Vagina"
the cop didnt laugh with me when he patted me down and pulled out my flask.
He gave me an orgasm before we even reached 2nd base, everything he did in high school is irrelevant.
Today's hangover is a "wear sunglasses while pooping in the dark" kind of day
I was short on money so I let my roommate mase me for $60
I got pushed into some bald man in the pit and spent the next few minutes with my face against his head. Man I love ecstasy.
There is not enough soap in the world to make me feel clean after last night. Im gonna need jesus for this one
I yelled at the dude who smoked him up "YOU'RE THE REASON I'M NOT GETTING LAID" then went to bed. So yeah, I guess it was an ok night.
If you want it you better put a ring on it. And by ring I mean one of my three favorite pies.
I thought you couldn't go near Germans after that restraining order
Hhhaaa He said Peanutburter disinfect lol. Like peanut butter can disinfect stuff. None of those guys are safe
Randomize
