We need to have an Itty-Bitty Titty Committee mtg somewhere in the range of 5 minutes to ASAP.
The lady at the touchless car wash just gave me the look of death. How do I say, "sorry it's not my puke" in Spanish?
Oh, I made pasta salad in the throw up bowl. I hope you don't need that for the next few days.
is it sad that i can describe this night as "the night that i was sober" and we all know which night it was. like literally one night of sobriety.
... was I dreaming when we did coke off of the xbox, or did that really happen?
I dont think yelling "Grab your dicks, time for pics!" helped your case either.
It's stupid hot. I just want to be laying in a bathtub full of margaritas
Nothing makes me happier than finding out someone else is pregnant and it's not you.
My orifices are off limits as long as you have that stache. Your call.
Never go drinking with anime club. End of story.
I got so drunk that I peed my bed...and all over him. The ironic thing is that he slept in his swimming trunks.
I apparently asked the bartender for a plastic bag and told her I was gunna puke then grabbed two handles from the bar then put the handles in the plastic bag and left.....
The first thing you did was give us a tour of the house and showed us who was "on-limits" and "off-limits"
I’m ready to be reckless and make stupid decisions, and I need you to support me in that.
Pretty sure I'm partying in a onesie right now.
Randomize