I am like the Mr. Miyagi of queefs.
Got hereat 8. Had 6 beers 2 shots and a game of diZZY BATOS
My dad just decided to play wingman for me... I dont want to let the family down... but both these girls are hideous
I know you hold the fastest time for "zoo downhill wheelchair racing" but I don't see what that has to do with this.
The only thing that was weird was that it WASN'T weird when she got out of the shower and saw me blowing him.
one of the RAs is here. he told me his name is optimus prime and then took his shirt off and fell down
It's really funny to see the look on the sales lady's face when she asks why you're replacing a painting. "I knocked it off the wall during sex w/ my heels," wasn't what she expected.
Drinking a pint every 8 mins right now. Power hour aint shit.
Good luck
Trying doe a second hour and I.cant open my eyes
We just won 1800 at the casino and are going to the strip club. Who gives a fuck if it's 5pm
I just spent 5 minutes saying how beautiful you are and you come back with dont get fat cause you have weird nipples.
I'm abstinent now
Oh, is this one of the times when you're serious?
It's Jesse McGoddamn Cartney, the whole world sings that shit
if i drink i'll go into liver failure but ok
totally worth it, dude its $1 pbr
Yah. I'm gonna lay you down and feed you grapes, except I'm gonna replace grapes for my balls
When we became besties with benefits we agreed I could still get dick
I didn't think I'd have to specify "not my Dad"
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