I cant wait for the day that I tell my daughter I named her after my favorite porn star.
There is something just so refreshing and wonderful about an uninterrupted morning poop in the office.
he drank a monster margarita at dinner. had to ask me if it was dollars or minutes that ended in 60.
Hey do you have anything at your house 30 ft. tall to throw eggs off of?
Someone in a vagina costume on campus.
i wanna meet her so much more now that I know she got toed in a hottub.
Thank you for not puking on my lap during the first class of the semester. And fuck you for doing it in the second.
He can only pee with the faucet running. It's like I'm dating a fucking toddler.
Dude, we tried to feed you but you just started sobbing and ran away
Lets think Pancakes and sausages into existence
if a CSI technician examined our hotel room with a black light he'd think we hit the Pulse button a DNA blender without a lid
You would critique a dick pic. Damn art people.
long story short, the bouquet was used as a sacrificial torch
My vagina knows your penis is sad about Andrew Luck. You should come over and let her comfort him in his time of need
Just find a separated / divorcing man. They’re too upset to fall in love, too helpless to be alone and too horny to think straight. Smile at him the right way and he’ll be thrilled to be with a sexy younger woman!
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