I guess she didn't feel like it. There was hair all over it and everything
Tonight i am praying for god to turn my pussy into apple pie because i cant count the number of times bruce chooses food over sex.
i was told that i was found face down in a plate of ketchup at the dinner table
Telling me that I would make a great "occasional fuck" was not appreciated.
So hungover. Sitting in class about to puke during this ladys flute performance. Not sure why were having a flute concert in biology
I'm not making any promises. But if I start throwing food at you, just go with it.
He turned off the music when i walked in and introduced me to everyone. then they gave me jager and made me chug it while holding a giant purple dildo. everything resumed when i finished
Sorry we're taking so long, this weed cake tastes amazing with Tabasco sauce on it.
It was pretty bad. Like cum-on-my-face-while-singing-Let-It-Snow bad.
WHO INVENTED HANGOVERS WHERE ARE MY CLOTHES
I'm sitting on the toilet eating a Chick-Fil-A breakfast sandwich. How's your Monday?
dude ur drinkin a beer not ta capri sun. lose the straw
Why is there cereal literally EVERYWHERE?
It didn't follow directions.
theres a canoe in our lawn. we dont own a canoe.
it was the only safe place
I was legit late to work one day Bc it took me so long to get a good nude
Randomize
