great time with ya sorry i wasn't one of the three guys you wanted to stay with
I just saw a kid walk into class with his dad. Fuck his life.
Is it bad that I was more upset about not getting the perfume he told me he had bought for me then the actual breakup?
i think of them as a grilled chicken salad and a fried chicken biscuit. obviously Amy is better for me, but when i'm eating her all i can think about is how much better the blonde must taste.
i definitely just woke up with half of a cigarette tucked underneath my balls. Last night must have been interesting
He had a curved dick....must be a european thing
I had a dream where I was about to fight you but you were dressed like a greek god and had just killed a werewolf with your bare hands
He ate shrooms at 9:30, said, "see you later," and left. I am alone on New Years.
I was living a snoop dogg song I fucked her on the floor so I wouldn't mess up my bed
Note to self: if you decide to go to the gym when you're coming down from your day high to shoot some hoops, do NOT play pickup basketball with the big black dudes who need a sixth
had a nice chat with the older gay fellow who works in the bakery at the new vons about vday...we both feel that it's a day of dashed expectations & concerns that we'll have to be cut out of our spanx
Please don't fuck the professor. We both know that won't end well.
i was too drunk before they even got here. i took all their phones instead of keys and hid them in the freezerr...im an awesome party host.
Caitlin, you were laying in your bed feeding your dog ritz chips and singing a whole new world at 4am loud enough your neighbors came over an asked you to stop.
I love my life
We free pour in this house. Measuring alcohol is for the weak
Randomize
