I just broke up with my girlfriend lets go find strippers that need rent money.
all he has to do is look at me on new years and hes getting laid. thats how hot he is
Easy Mac is falling out of my sweatshirt as I'm walking down the street.
New rule : you aren't allowed anything . Ever .
well i fell out of the hot tub and tumbled down the hill and kicked a plant in the process.
Drunk me thought he was hot enough to overlook the fact that he had poison ivy and still have sex with him. Sober me wants to know if you have any calamine lotion.
Just got caught staring at a woman breast feeding. My only response was, "She's so adorable".
Then he rubbed shampoo all over my arm and shouted, "Garnier FUCK THIS."
I think id rather titty fuck an A cup than deal with what happened tonight again. shits depressing
I just watched my ex butt chug a quart of eggnog. Why did I dump her again?
Update: just imagined being dirty talked to in an Irish brogue and I think my vagina became a sentient being.
Not to play devil's advocate, but, considering how our species has evolved so far... I'm kinda rooting for the sun on the whole heat death thing.
Update: I just threw up in between cars in the parking lot of magic kingdom.
Has anyone heard from Jamie or has she actually just been having sex for 48 hours?
Honestly the prospect of dick really lifts a girl's spirits
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