Sometimes when I whip my dick out it looks REAL impressive. This, was NOT one of those times.
dude chill. it wont be anything like your seventh grade birthday party.
jusi got death stares at taco bell because I asked if Denise was working.
I think I'm going to inject the gummy vitamins with vodka
I'm glad you're using your medical degree for some good for once
Finished the final in under ten minutes and then puked in the bushes outside. I don't even care if I graduate anymore.
I can't wait till you move in so I can stop drinking alone.
it's a Wednesday?
:)
Now he's trying to use the tornado warnings as an excuse to get head. Yeah, b/c THAT'S the last taste I want in my mouth b4 I die...
Having him as a wingman is like telling the girl you already have aids
I WALKED myself out of breath. And I'm lost I'm a Tim Hortons parking lot. That's how hungover I am.
he knocked a glass of water onto my bed and then said that he should get to sleep on the dry side because he was "a guest"
DROP EVERYTHING! Gatta go get tested for herpes, lets make an adventure out of it.
Hypothetically speaking, when I get a sugar glider would it be frowned upon to bring it Ito classes with me in m pocket?
My aunt asked how many piercings I had and my mom said seven and I said nine and that's how my family found out I had my nipples pierced.
I know we're not on great terms here, but I need to know if you're still available for sexual activity...cause if not I need to get going on a work-out plan.
For the love of all that is holy just take the tranquilizers Erica
Randomize
