Should I be offended if he asked if he could use saran wrap to eat me out?
I decided that not getting a job after college is gods way of telling me I will make a great housewife
bars should really give you discounts for bringing your own shot glass
tequila makes me forget i have legs
what if his mom answers? its like high school, but hes 30
Puking green right now......... jaimison mcflurry very bad idea
What's the protocol when you drive the girl's head into the wall during sex and she starts to cry?
he needs to stop knowing everyone on campus...it's making cheating on him really difficult.
I just hope when I turn 21, it doesn't tank my entire semester.
I need rollerblades now
Rollerblades pick up bitches
Just resonded to a booty call with "how much effort is required on my part?" I think I've finally reached the point of smoking too much pot
Also, don't forget your plan to die young at a shrooms-fueled orgy.
i keep replaying things i did last night. and remembering new things. and its a constant cycle of torture
While buying Plan B the lady at the counter looked at me and said hope you have a successful night as I walked away in shame
I just volunteered myself to get tazed this should get interesting
Randomize
