May have finally hit rock bottom...bouncer from the strip club informed me I wore the same shirt last night
this girl looks like the female version of brooke hogan
I'm half bulimic - I binge but forget to purge
I'm heating up a hotdog using a candle.
No. Her boobs are the one spot of warmth in my life right now and I will not let you take them from me.
I got to see some gay bartender let a girl with daddy issues whip Travis in the balls with his own belt. Totally worth it.
Dad got stoned the other day and bought us potty training seats for when we have children
I CAN FEEL MY HEART BEATING MY WHOLE BODY
my star wars tattoo got me laid last night. definitely a dark side sort of benefit im thinking
Whatever, you're gonna have to break it to mom that the reason I was so drunk at Christmas dinner is because she wouldn't stop asking me why I don't have a boyfriend
So you called me the queen of nudes yesterday and I'm still not sure how I feel about it
Worst case scenario- he paid me for sex with meatloaf. There are worse thing, right? I mean at least is was good meatloaf.
You're now part of the minority of friends who haven't seen my boobs.
So you can text and rub it at the same time? Bravo.
I can do anything and masturbate, if I truly wanted to.
Well, why would you bring gelado into a strip club?
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