You don't need id to drink rum in an alley.
I couldn't even finish, she was lounder and more annoying than DJ Khaled
Jordan and I are drunk and barred out at the liquor store sitting in the awesome $70 Corona bench bargaining with the owner for a lower price, all while passing the Belvedere bottle between the two of us. Real life. College has down this.
I was mixing candy canes and coors light and was in a great place.
Rehydrating your liver back to life is never a good idea.
she's five days sober.....are those consecutive????
5 days not 5 nights... like a bad hotel/vacation deal
Is it a good time to tell him he's getting too clingy if he sent me a picture of my name spelled with Cheerios?
Would it be weird to tell him that on his b'day he's dressing up and we're having weird Jesus sex?
Or I could hide in your trunk so you can sneak out of putt putt for sex breaks
I have a 30 pack and enough condoms to last until tomorrow morning. Have Mystery Science Theater 3000 ready. I'm on my way over.
I think I fell asleep on the dance floor at one point...but played it off cool and acted like I just did the robot.
so is it socially acceptable to send her an "i got my man back you whore" card?
my mom talks about my drinking like its a problem and yet this morning she fills me a solo cup with champagne for the shower.
Somehow I don't think offering me edibles is what dad meant by checking in on me
They're the hard candy kind!
I'd like to thank Vicodin for getting me through family thanksgiving once again.
Randomize
