it was nice. we just kind of hung out. she didnt even mention the farting incident.
she is graduated, working for the school, and puking in the bathroom of a frat house. she wants brush her hair so she doesnt "look trashy". im in love.
Dude I was fucking my girl on the couch and her dog came up and licked my balls. Does that mean we just had a threesome?
If youre the one that ate my brownies this morning I only have two things to say to you
Those had pot in them
And good luck on your interview asshole
He fell off the roof... he clearly has not been preparing for summer.
I woke up with a fake mustache stuck to my chest and I can't even hold down water.
Fuck you for setting me up with the guy from the Nickelback cover band
Payback for not stopping me from fucking the guy in the wookie costume
Some guy just rode an office chair down my street, I hope he comes back so I can give him my number.
CONGRATULATIONS! You have won: pictures of my nipples!
Lets play a game called: how out of it are you today? Let me know if you can beat driving on the wrong side of the road twice and walking up two extra flights of stairs just because you weren't paying attention to what floor you are on....
I've gotten 2 singers numbers, a 6'5 dude has promised to take me to Oktoberfest, and I spent the night w a pilot named Zeus who looks like caramel tastes. Also I sprained my thumb punching some guy I named 'hater'. I love Nashville
Quote from doctor, "that is a VERY angry vagina".
I'm fucked.
We should probably feel disgusted that we took turns eating and drunkenly passing around a burrito the size of a small dog but i’m ok with it.
Everyone says she blew me in the bathroom, so I believe it, I just don't REMEMBER.
I started keeping track of my period when I realized you had a better grasp of it than me.
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