Kelly went into her room with Dave, but is moaning Tommy...
Ryan Reynolds porn could be a WMD. Have a giant TV on the front of your tank, and just drive around playing it. Everyone dies of orgasm overload.
That's it. Iraq is done. Everyone dies, game over man.
listen if there's one thing I'm asking of you tonight is that you buy me a cow for my farmville.
Tell me you're stoned. It's 2:40am.
already putting money aside for 4/20. you ready for the greatest tuesday ever?
just got a girls number while on a 5 am adderall cig break this is college at its finest
not only did i soak my thesis by spilling celebratory shots on it, but i also stained it with lipstick making it obvious i tried to drink the vodka off it......dgaf, worth it.
I don't know, I don't really wanna ask the question, "Mom why am I not circumcised?"
it never fails, everytime he manages to fuck my earrings out of my ears.
His rich uncle has six months to live. I feel pregnant.
I'll report later on the progress of the mountain orgy
So would it be tacky to offer my services as a future attorney as an engagement gift for her?
He just told me what he wants for his birthday. "a noise complaint" he also said he wants to be the cause of all the noise but he won't be the one making the noise.
Yeah when I texted her last night the only response I got was "stoned eating cobbler."
I was too drunk to remember throwing up so i probably didn't learn my lesson
Don't be alarmed when we finally get naked and I let out a WOOHOO!!!
Randomize
