Making out with married ex girlfriends: priceless
if I'm ever single again, I swear to god I'm going to have 87 venerial diseases
I felt like a body pillow being humped by a twelve year old.
She passed out in the backyard, making "face down" snow angels ... so they could have a smile.
He insisted on us having sex while watching the biggest loser and asked me if I could "resist the temptation".
I'm going to die alone in a sea of empty vodka bottles and cats.
When I was in the bathroom and wiped with a paper towel I found in the trashcan, I realized that this might be the reason I have a yeast infection.
Just put an ad on Craigslist for a fake groom... I'm sure only non creepy sane people will respond to it
It summer and it's getting a lot harder to hide sex bruises from my parents.
First world problems?
My gyno overestimated by 3 TIMES the amount of sex we have per week. First of all, he must think I'm a freak. Secondly, I think we should catch up.
I broke her handcuffs. I feel like an animal.
So i came so hard i almost passed out, where has this vibrator been all my life?
You've hit rock bottom, swam around the ocean floor, and brought back silverware from the titanic.
he was almost the father of your baby, you should let him take you to dinner
i bet he makes cat noises to excite himself.
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