At the miami airport. Don't know if it's all the tequila I drank in cozumel or the 5 year olds french accent but I might puke.
He said he had a gf but the monogamy was "only implied".
I had one margarita and got the worst headache of my life... its like my liver has senior week ptsd
i wish his balls had a scratch and sniff sticker elsewhere so i would know before i even went down there
When the question of, do you know who's ass has been on the cake you are eating is said... Good or bad party?
donating our bodies to science does not justify what were doing to them.
Rome wasn't built in a day - my bedroom skills weren't obtained in some boring monogamous relationship. Same thing. Right?
Hey, you know that marble art statue thing in your bedroom? Hypothetically what would happen if a penis got stuck in it?
you know what? fuck you, fuck your nana, and ESPECIALLY FUCK THE BLACKHAWKS.
You can't be mad... I'm letting you jerk off in my parents shower
Its okay I found my bra. ...it was on your cat. I wont ask questions.
I don't have a cat..?
Granted every 20 shifts of working there you seem to be on par to receive some sort of racy satisfying sexual encounter which money can’t buy
You chased a rabbit then knocked on a police car and asked the cop "if he saw where that little bastard went."
Officially not baby mama #3. Celebration is in order.
Well, for starters, you were growling and slurping beer from a puddle on the carpet. Let's all hope that was beer...
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