You don't understand, alcohol has become a thing of survival for me and without it I can't function as a normal human being
the day after is always just damage control
Facebook is used to stalk your friends, Twitter is used to stalk celebritie=s, and Myspace is used to stalk underaged girls. Everything else is porn. T=he Internet in a nutshell.
Your therapist is not going to think that you using your vagina as revenge is okay
This is going to be a 3 day beach sex fest. Do you understand
I'm microwaving a frozen bottle of Two Buck Chuck while watching The Proposal with my housemate. I'm not sure what success is like, but I'm fairly confident this isn't it.
He's basically wearing those Nike boner sweatpants. It's hard not to jump him. How has your day been?
Omg. Some dude is jacking off in Kelly's bathroom.
Seriously, webMD this shit for me, I cant move and I dont wanna die until I have something worth fighting over in my will
Apparently he got pepper spray on his dick. So he's a literal fire crotch.
Well my summer has already been productive. I partially caused a divorce.
Now all I want to do is stay up, drink wine, and look at dragons.
It's almost sad. It's like the Harambe of vagina stories really.
will you help me invent vagina-safe pop rocks?
He had me sit on his face until I begged him to stop, then held me there 5 minutes longer. I rested my head on his chest, told him I needed time to recover....and slept for 6 hours. By the time I woke, he was already at work. I just sent him a countdown times until his shift is over.
Randomize
