Just desperately used the "it's a boy" cigar I saved from my\nnephews birth to roll a blunt
My drug dealer asked me out. What's the protocal for this?
Being college poor has reached a new low. I am giving up on masturbating so i can save money on toilet paper
the protein jug says add 2 scoops to your favorite beverage. guess who just found a way to make sam adams healthy? THIS GUY
i like to finish this college football season knowing that not once have I had to masturbate to erin andrews
It's official. I am the girl who threw up in the library. Hangovers and midterms do not mix.
The empty keg landed on my head. It's a good thing we already got shitfaced or i'd be a vegetable and the humor would be completely lost.
He is crying over the toilet and his friends just came in and tried to make him take another jello shot.
he's definitely still old enough to be your dad. even your grandfather, if you come from a line of juvenile delinquents
I was stuffing my vagina with gummy bears last night having him eat them out of me. Team Haribo for the win!
Im going to hell I gave him a handjob on the plane next, to an old guy playing video games on his iPad, on good friday.
If everything else in my life fails, at least I just had one of my top orgasms
Im not sure if the cops that just came are strippers or actually cops
I don't care that he's really strong. I need him to make me cum not fix my back problems
Basically, I am an endless fountain of unconvential sexual experiences and knowledge.
Randomize
