The Worst (noun)- 1. Getting up at 6am after a night of drinking. 2. Wearing a Peter Rabbit costume.
After I made out with her she fell asleep and started pooting in her sleep. Are we sure lesbians are hot? Cause that wasn't.
How do you feel about the band name "O'labia Newton John"??
just bought a $25 eighth from a chick who has a kid. i'm helping my community out right?
we were hanging out in his room and he decided to play WoW.. so i took off all my clothes while he wasn't paying attention and laid on his bed and started playing with myself.
did he notice?
of course he didn't notice.. he was playing a fiesty level 1 fucker that wouldn't give up..
she kept asking for a lobster dinner while she was crying. it was actually the most reasonable drunk chick request i've ever heard.
I'm sure me singing - rather loudly - "fuck me in the back seat" last night didn't help either.
he ate me out like 4 times and told me that my vagina "was too much fun".
So, we estimated there is at least 40 pounds of boob in our house.
we were looking for paper towels to wrap his hand and i yanked a drawer out of the cabinet, it was fun so we just kept doing it. things escalated and long story short, he isn't gettin his security deposit back
you started shaking the frozen steak while screaming "THIS IS CAPITALISM" before rubbing it all over your chest and passing out on your dog
I just woke up drenched in beer, in a puddle of beer, and cuddling a bottle of tequila
Is there such thing as dick sucking teeth guards?
It stopped being casual for me when I waxed my vagina for you
I was in line at Panera when I got the pic you sent to your coworker. I just showed your vag to a soccer mom. The vibrator was a nice touch.
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