i wanna stay in my bed and fart for a few more hours
We could sell used underwear with pictures of us wearing them.
so this guy on craigslist is offering a case of beer to shave his back. i think i'm gonna take him up on it.
My doctor just informed me that my food allergies qualify me for a medical marijuana license. I get it on Tuesday. It won't help at all, but my life is awesome!
I think i'm just gonna start shot-gunning everything that comes in can form.
he just made me youtube cheetahs running and he thinks he is in a pool
You guys better make it up to the cabin in time for mud wrestling on Saturday. I'm not kidding. You know when I joke, and now is not one of those times.
I remember desperately screaming that I love my life and running in zig zags all the way home
I kind of learned that hotels are unnecessary. Boys will just take you home, but that's tough with a group. I believe in us, though.
Any chance you used one if the curtain rods in the fireplace room as a sword? One is missing
Considering that your "hello" was replaced with "Fuck yo couch," I'm not surprised that you have a black eye.
I'm just chillin on the bathroom floor
Haha oh no
The bathroom floor is like my second bedroom on the weekends
I reek of vagina.. My cab driver commented.
My whole house smells like Spaghetti-Os and cat litter. I think I've failed as an adult.
You guys are like the reason that ketamine is a controlled substance.
Randomize
