i also saw a trio of peacocks walking along a sidewalk in hollywood today. i really hope im not tripping.
i swear to god her finding her clit was like looking for a sock in a dryer full of beach towels
I don't want to have to wonder if I'm draining my pasta in the same side of the sink you pissed in
I love family holidays its the only time when playing beer pong, and smoking hookah with my family isnt looked down upon
all you kept yelling was "i'm bored and i'm sober"
she was laying naked in the stream looking for "ribbays", which is apparently drunk for frogs.
ONE NIGHT STAND. You have 27 minutes before the offer expires, so I suggest you hurry.
You kept making up "snapple facts" every time you opened a beer.
I found him. We're on the way back to the condo. He was sitting in the lifeguard stand letting people passing by take pictures of his nipples for a buck each..he made 15 dollars
I take back all of the insults I've ever said toward those money makers
Since i didn't have a condom I told him to use jump ship method, I think I was overly invested in my sailor costume this year.
Just getting in the shower.... found a "great job" sticker stuck to my boob.
So how was your night?
Literally got mad at him this morning because we didn't have time to have sex for a third time. I think I'm getting greedy.
You showed up at my front door in a bikini with a fifth of tequila it was like the opening to a porno
I twisted my ankle while drunkenly playing in my adult kickball league. Now I'm having to use my grandpa's cane to walk at this party. I am so single.
Are you drinking tequila at 1pm? ...at Disneyland?
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