have you ever wondered what it would feel like to stick those coneheads in your vaj
omg every time its on
he said I was the best sex he's ever had, handed me a burger king crown and told me to take my walk of shame with pride
We snorted a line of cocaine and xanax, and then played a game of Backgammon. It was surprisingly therapeutic.
I woke up with cheeseburger in my mouth and a deep sense of accomplishment.
yeah, I said "hi, I'm the creepy old guy at the college bar" and she said that she like mature men, wasn't expecting that line to work
We learned a lot about one another. I showed him around the town I grew up in and he informed me that he has had a threesome and killed a cat
And all you did was hit on me and do things "for America", so you weren't judged heavily
Wait, tell the rest at happy hour. I wanna be able to interrupt you with my loud cackles and stupid questions.
you got in a fight with your imaginary friend last night when he didn't catch you after a surprise trust fall
I was giving him a handjob in the woods and a family walked by
You woke us up at 9:15 am still in your toga from last night saying "welcome to my house party...party". You had already filled up the pong cups with yaager/fireball and ordered a chicken platter... Who even delivered that that early???
There's just no proper way to thank a man for that many consecutive orgasims.
I had to give myself a suppository. That was the LEAST fun I've had inserting things in my ass.
My son's girlfriend just thanked me for having good penis genes.
long story short... we may or may not have lost your car.
Randomize
