FUCK TREES I CLIMB BUOYS MOTHERFUCKER
STOP listening to that song
suntimes in life you find a rare opportunity, mine was bonin my gf in front of the tv
No need to clean the puke on the driveway. The squirrel is eating it up.
I do what I can to inject something into your life every day. Today, humor. Saturday. Penis.
just spent the last 4 hours covering his room in sticky notes. Viva Drunk Thursdays.
whose ass print is on the piano?
What if we made a bunch of weed butter and then poured the butter into tiny rectangular molds and then chilled it so it was solid again and then wrapped it with the tin foil wrapping from restaurant butter and then left them at restaurants and wreaked utter havoc.
Someone left me hummas on my door step between the hours of 1am-3am
Yeah, I'm just gonna try to repress that and remember him for his big dick and perfect jawline.
I know it's my dream I got hurt enough to leave work but not hurt enough to stop drinking
He had a clap on lamp. So every time he was ramming into me, the lights kept turning on and off
After an orgasm, I always feel the urge to sing A Whole New World from the move Aladdin and I'm not quite sure why.
WHY CANT I FIND JUST A NORMAL DISNEY LOVING MAN TO PAINT WITH ALL THE COLORS OF THE WIND WITH!!
No offense, but I don’t think I would want to see him in anything skimpier than a hazmat suit.
Last night was a bad idea. I'm hungover and the contents of my purse smell like Korean BBQ.
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