based on who turned up here tonight the whole evening should just be called "mistakes i made when i was fat"
He walked in and put an x made out of tape on the floor. He then announced that he was going to pass out there. Cocky or strategic?
no more everclear, i just stood next to the toilet and peed my pants. then went back to the party soaking wet.
I just want to apologize for screaming when I saw you the other day. It's just that you looked really gross and I was high.
normally i wouldnt have blown him but he was on dawsons creek.. i love dawsons creek.
I'm riding shot gun after Shawn took a dump in a happy meal box because we were making record time.
Seriously though, you almost tore my right nipple off.
we had break-up sex in a port-a-potty. how do you think it went?!
Look bro I'll go half per boob with you, we split her.
answer my text you professional douchebag
and i mean that in the cutest, flirtiest way possible
I tried to steal a Mike's Hard sign last night but it didn't work out
why what happened?
Well it was going fine.. until the bouncer noticed the three foot steel lemon sticking out of my jacket.
Some guy named spider just bought me 5 shots
conclusion from last night: i should wear boob glitter more often
logically I know i should probably study somewhere outside my dorm room, but if I do that then I cant drink and smoke half as much while i study
UPDATE: THERE IS ASS EATING. I REPEAT: THERE IS ASS EATING.
Randomize
